selectiveparticipation

Lessons to be learned.

Posted on: February 20, 2012

As the year goes on I find myself learning more lessons, which is ironic seeing as I’m not exactly doing something big to be learning so much. I’ve found out that I haven’t been anti-social for the last four years for no reason. When you’re around bad people, it just keeps bringing you down. Luckily I took care of that problem years ago and yes I did get called names for not talking to people, but hey, that’s high school for ya. Didn’t matter though, real friends stayed by my side and I was perfectly happy. Years down the road, I find myself in a similar situation, only this time it’s not a bad person, it’s someone who is very dear to me, a certain someone who knows me better than anyone else. Someone whom I call my best friend. What happens when that person just want’s to leave your life? Not just that, but leave your life with you need them the most. Then there’s those tweets or status’ that always say, “If he can’t handle you at your worst than he doesn’t deserve you at your best.” Which seems like the logical thing to do, just cut that person out, because that person doesn’t even want to be in your life. But the reality is, that’s hard. You can’t just cut someone out of your life like that, not when they’ve meant so much to you. And I know that the reason this person wants to leave my life is because truth in the matter is, I’m not okay, I’m not dandy, I’m not myself. I’m not that person that he’s known for all those years. I have let this shadow suck me in and take me over. We both know that it’s for the best, he knows that if he sticks around it’ll only make things worse, we’ve always had this crash of personality’s if you will, it would usually balance itself out, usually. Not these times though, these times are different. We both know it and maybe it is time for me to let go. But I can’t. I just can’t. I rather have a million fights with him than go a day without his name aprearing on my phone.

 

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