selectiveparticipation

Archive for May 2012

I can’t count the times that I heard the words, “I promise.” Only to be disappointed at the end when they didn’t follow through.

When I say, “I promise to be there.” I’ll be there. If I say, “I promise I won’t do that again.” You better believe I won’t don’t that again. If I say, “I promise not to tell anyone.” No one else will hear the words you say to me. Maybe that’s what blows my mind about the whole situation, the fact that I have such a strong sense of the word, promise, that it’s hard to remember that the overall population of the world doesn’t value it. Which is sad to think about, as kids the thing we valued more than play time and snacks were promises. If you pinky promised you’d play tag with someone at recess the next day, there were no monkey bars that crossed your mind.

It might be silly of me, but I still do pinky promises. I know how much it hurts to be waiting for someone who never shows. The sting you feel when you find someone you care about doing something they promised they wouldn’t do. But what hurts the most, is that moment when you remember that time they said, “I promise.” And for that moment, you believed them.

 

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I’m going to make this post short seeing as I must go procrastinate on YouTube for an hour ┬áin a bit.

After doing so I will get ready so I may accompany my best friend to her church, I have never liked mass nor am I religious person, but I will support my good friend. I’m going to take this opportunity to talk to my ex boyfriend’s parents, yes, I know, crazy. But I have more than one reason to believe that he is filling their heads with lies about me. Being the fearless person that I am, I will confront these lies to shine on the truth. I’m too honest for my own good.

If all goes well we will end on good terms like we have always been. A part of me thinks that my ex boyfriend might be there, in which case I will tell my best friend’s brother to act like a bodyguard. You see, my ex is one of those, born again Christians. Not the good kind, he’s more of the type that is only acting, only for the show, in other words, for all the wrong reason. He’s been trying to “save me”, Since I’m catholic and don’t believe in mass nor the bible, he’s been trying to get me to repent or whatever. So he may call me a spawn of Satan if he’s at church. But I’ll just spray some holy water on him and watch it burn his skin, Lol.

Overall, one of two things can happen, everything runs smoothly and I walk out of their feeling good, or everything turns into a big showdown on his part, I for one, still have respect and won’t do such things at a church. (Except spray holy water on him.)

After all of this, my best friend and I will be attending lunch to meet with two of our potential room-mates, hopefully they don’t end up being serial killers. Fingers crossed.

I graduated high school in the summer of last year and I decided to take a year off. Well, I planned on taking some time off, but you know how these things go, it ended up being a year. I was just so sick and tired of having to deal with people who were completely and utterly not worth my time. Walking down a hall full of people you despise is not exactly the best way to spend most of your years. All that time I spent after high school, I made peace with the fact that I’m just gonna have to deal with the fact that we all share our world with a bunch of twats and I know that the entire human population isn’t the same.

Therefore, I am finally going back to school and starting college this fall, I’ve been accepted into all the colleges that I applied to and currently working on scholarships, financial aid, looking for an apartment (All the colleges are in a different city.) as well as getting to know two of my potential room-mates with my best friend who is also moving with me. Overwhelmed is the best word that describe me right now. For the overall experience I am beyond excited that I will be able to stretch my wings and see where I can fly to. But I’m also a bit scared seeing as I’ve always been a very sheltered child and don’t have the slightest clue on what I am doing.

But if I don’t take this step I will never be able to reach my full potential. I want to see the world, I have to start somewhere.