selectiveparticipation

Archive for the ‘Productivity’ Category

I’ve been working on my frist video on the collab channel with my friends for a while, including many melt downs with different editing programs, exporting, editing the video itself, it not coming out as I had imagined it and repeat.

But now that im all done and it just went live, im beyond happy. It’s pretty late so I know it won’t do so good with views but I’ve never cared for that.

Something that I created in my mind now has a physical form and its a beautiful thing. It’s still rough around the edges but its my baby.I’m currently working on my other projects and next weeks video, as well as trying to stay productive. Lets see if I can continue this pattern. But not post so late lol.

check out the video here! I would love to hear any feedback

 

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Today I woke up sick, tired and no will of getting up. I called in sick and went back to sleep for hours. I’m still not feeling so  good and so lifeless, but here I am.

When I was working last year, I felt like this, I wasn’t going anywhere, I would just get through the day only to get home and lie down, completely lifeless and no creative bone in my body.  And repeat. I feel like this is my life now and like I’ve mentioned before, I’ll wake up one day at age 40 to realize that’s all I’ve been doing with my life is getting through the day.

That’s not what I imagined in my life. that’s not what I believed would happen to me. And yes, it is true that I do need this job. But I’m trying to push myself and work on projects here and there so I can one day find out what I want to do with my life and do something with it. During my breaks and lunches I’ve been planning and working on all of my projects. When I get home and on my days off I have been working on them as well. I feel so much better about everything. I want to be able to do this. I want to prove to myself that those “silly dreams” that everyone would shun me for, aren’t silly at all.

It is hard for me to continue this mindset and I did have a mini meltdown at work on Thursday, but I know it’s not going to be a walk in the park. So here I am, inspired and finding my will to get up in the morning again. Even if I was down today, I’m trying to get back up.

And speaking of projects, me and my friends have gathered together and decided to create a girl collab channel, we see different guy collabs all the time. The only girl collab channel that I’ve seen has to do with makeup, which I love but I want to show all girls that makeup isn’t the only way we have to do things. So if you’re interested, you can watch our trailer here: We start uploading tomorrow! (I’m still awkward on camera.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uHQqm-I1oFQ

Now back to bed to rest so I may continue my journey.

Different to my usual drag of posts. I went to watch the rise of the guardians and thought i would share.  And yes, there might possibly be spoilers….

Now I know everyone considers it a, “Children’s movie” I did go watch it to relive my childhood, seeing as I’ve loved Jack frost movies since I was a kid. The one from 1979 is probably high up in my top favorites. (Even though its very cheesy but lets not go there.)

But once the movie started, I realized that it was so much more than just Jack Frost, as much as it pains me to say this, Even though of course he is my favorite character in the movie. He is indeed, one of many in this movie that made it whole.  I guess I could compare this to an animated version of the avengers, honestly, that’s how I would see it.

Now i’d like to mention that the characters are nothing like you’d think they are and you love it. Santa is called, “North” He’s Russian and completely oblivious to sarcasm, The eater bunny, or just simply, bunny, is Australian and a complete badass and won’t take anyone’s bullshit. The tooth fairy, or Tooth is a freaking bird fairy or something who has little birds that help her do her  job. The sand man, or sandy doesn’t talk but he has so much to say, he’s really protective about dreams and is someone you don’t wanna mess with.  The only one that was how I thought they’d be, was Jack Frost and I wouldn’t have him any other way. I’ve always thought as him as this guy who doesn’t like responsibilities and just prefers to do stuff, his way. Someone who was against rules and just wants to have fun. As much as he loves being alone, he does get lonely and sad that  no one can see him or even believe in him. Because he’s not exactly “famous” or has a holiday named after him. So people overlook him. All during my childhood that’s how I always thought of him, someone who longs for someone to believe in him. That’s probably why I believed in him so much. Cause I could relate to him, how he would do all these things for people but no one would even see him really.

Away from that side track, pitch, who is the boogie man, I thought was actually a really good character, not someone who turns good at the end of the movie or anything like that. But he has so much depth to him. And it leaves you wondering, what happened to him?

An important thing I should point out, is that in the movie, Tooth reveals that all of five of them (the guardians)  were someone before they became a guardian and by someone, I mean human. In the movie we find out about Jack’s past life, which breaks my heart but made me so excited at the same time. I’ve loved him for so long and to actually see how he was and his life before he became Jack Frost, was bitter sweet. But then after that, it got me thinking, who were they before they became guardians. I know North’s back story. But I don’t know any of the others.

Which made me really really really want a sequel, because I’d like to know:

  • Their pasts and what they did for the man in the moon to make them into a guardian
  • What did pitch even did
  • Who the man in the moon even is, what does he do, what, why, how, whooo
  • Why does pitch refer to the man in the moon as an old friend even though he wants to destroy him, so what happened there
  • Why there’s an old bed frame over a dark hole
  • Why doesn’t Sandy talk.

Just overall a lot of questions i’d be interested in finding the answers to.

Overall, this movie impressed me and it takes a lot for that to happen.

If you don’t know what NaNoWriMo is, basically, its a worldwide annual “event” where in the month of November you write a 50,000 word novel. Crazy? Yes, yes I am. Always wanted to participate but this year, I’m going to, for the first time. I’ve had this novel idea for a long time now, i have so much invested in the plot, the characters etc. But I never get after chapter five. Even though I know where the story is leading, I can’t get there. If that makes sense. I do have a battle plan, as well as everyone that does NaNoWriMo tells me not edit. If you listen closely, you can hear my inner editor screeching. But my first goal is to actually finish the novel, in a month..Thennnn I have the rest of the year to edit.
I’m scared shitless and beyond excited all at the same time.
Hope the next time you hear from me it’s not from the mental institute!

I’m going to make this post short seeing as I must go procrastinate on YouTube for an hour  in a bit.

After doing so I will get ready so I may accompany my best friend to her church, I have never liked mass nor am I religious person, but I will support my good friend. I’m going to take this opportunity to talk to my ex boyfriend’s parents, yes, I know, crazy. But I have more than one reason to believe that he is filling their heads with lies about me. Being the fearless person that I am, I will confront these lies to shine on the truth. I’m too honest for my own good.

If all goes well we will end on good terms like we have always been. A part of me thinks that my ex boyfriend might be there, in which case I will tell my best friend’s brother to act like a bodyguard. You see, my ex is one of those, born again Christians. Not the good kind, he’s more of the type that is only acting, only for the show, in other words, for all the wrong reason. He’s been trying to “save me”, Since I’m catholic and don’t believe in mass nor the bible, he’s been trying to get me to repent or whatever. So he may call me a spawn of Satan if he’s at church. But I’ll just spray some holy water on him and watch it burn his skin, Lol.

Overall, one of two things can happen, everything runs smoothly and I walk out of their feeling good, or everything turns into a big showdown on his part, I for one, still have respect and won’t do such things at a church. (Except spray holy water on him.)

After all of this, my best friend and I will be attending lunch to meet with two of our potential room-mates, hopefully they don’t end up being serial killers. Fingers crossed.

I graduated high school in the summer of last year and I decided to take a year off. Well, I planned on taking some time off, but you know how these things go, it ended up being a year. I was just so sick and tired of having to deal with people who were completely and utterly not worth my time. Walking down a hall full of people you despise is not exactly the best way to spend most of your years. All that time I spent after high school, I made peace with the fact that I’m just gonna have to deal with the fact that we all share our world with a bunch of twats and I know that the entire human population isn’t the same.

Therefore, I am finally going back to school and starting college this fall, I’ve been accepted into all the colleges that I applied to and currently working on scholarships, financial aid, looking for an apartment (All the colleges are in a different city.) as well as getting to know two of my potential room-mates with my best friend who is also moving with me. Overwhelmed is the best word that describe me right now. For the overall experience I am beyond excited that I will be able to stretch my wings and see where I can fly to. But I’m also a bit scared seeing as I’ve always been a very sheltered child and don’t have the slightest clue on what I am doing.

But if I don’t take this step I will never be able to reach my full potential. I want to see the world, I have to start somewhere.

When you enjoy reading as much as I do, you find yourself always on the look-out for something new to read; something that you will be able to get lost in, sort of speak. Where you find yourself unable to stop turning the next page. So you know what the best thing about writing is? The fact that you can create that same feeling and have the power of the outcome all in one. I find myself always saying “what’s a good story to read?” and then today, when I asked myself that very question, ready to go on google and start searching for my read of the night, a little voice inside my head answered my own question by saying, “The story in your head.” I froze, something in the back of my head is trying to get out and tell it’s story. So who am I for not telling it? I’m about to open up my word pad and get lost in the world that I’m creating. That right there, is the best thing about writing.