selectiveparticipation

Posts Tagged ‘Youtube

I’ve been working on my frist video on the collab channel with my friends for a while, including many melt downs with different editing programs, exporting, editing the video itself, it not coming out as I had imagined it and repeat.

But now that im all done and it just went live, im beyond happy. It’s pretty late so I know it won’t do so good with views but I’ve never cared for that.

Something that I created in my mind now has a physical form and its a beautiful thing. It’s still rough around the edges but its my baby.I’m currently working on my other projects and next weeks video, as well as trying to stay productive. Lets see if I can continue this pattern. But not post so late lol.

check out the video here! I would love to hear any feedback

 

Today I woke up sick, tired and no will of getting up. I called in sick and went back to sleep for hours. I’m still not feeling so  good and so lifeless, but here I am.

When I was working last year, I felt like this, I wasn’t going anywhere, I would just get through the day only to get home and lie down, completely lifeless and no creative bone in my body.  And repeat. I feel like this is my life now and like I’ve mentioned before, I’ll wake up one day at age 40 to realize that’s all I’ve been doing with my life is getting through the day.

That’s not what I imagined in my life. that’s not what I believed would happen to me. And yes, it is true that I do need this job. But I’m trying to push myself and work on projects here and there so I can one day find out what I want to do with my life and do something with it. During my breaks and lunches I’ve been planning and working on all of my projects. When I get home and on my days off I have been working on them as well. I feel so much better about everything. I want to be able to do this. I want to prove to myself that those “silly dreams” that everyone would shun me for, aren’t silly at all.

It is hard for me to continue this mindset and I did have a mini meltdown at work on Thursday, but I know it’s not going to be a walk in the park. So here I am, inspired and finding my will to get up in the morning again. Even if I was down today, I’m trying to get back up.

And speaking of projects, me and my friends have gathered together and decided to create a girl collab channel, we see different guy collabs all the time. The only girl collab channel that I’ve seen has to do with makeup, which I love but I want to show all girls that makeup isn’t the only way we have to do things. So if you’re interested, you can watch our trailer here: We start uploading tomorrow! (I’m still awkward on camera.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uHQqm-I1oFQ

Now back to bed to rest so I may continue my journey.

So, I was finally able to get a job, yay right? nope. it’s far away, but I’ve always wanted to work there, so I took the job. My first shift was supposed to be today, but yesterday as I was about to go home after 8 hours of training, the car wouldn’t start. Someone tried to jump start it and it wouldn’t budge after 93643463 times of tying. you see, my room mate and I share cars until my car is fixed and I can go get it from the city where we use to live. But now, this. To put matters into a worse state, my parents are being twats. I ask them one thing and they can’t even do that. This is why I’ve gotten so use to only relying on myself. I work tomorrow, and idk how on earth i’ll be able to pull this off but I gotta keep moving forward. I knew moving out and the adult life wouldn’t be easy so I can’t run away as soon as I was proven right.

 

side notes: I’m behind on NaNoWriMo, sad face. Also I made a video of my midlife crisis story, ya know, in case you’ve ever wanted to see a couple post in video form. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yoYHBrCb-qo&feature=plcp